Saturday, 12 March 2016

"It was just like a movie. It was just like a song."

This past week was a week, well...., a week that left me feeling tired and defeated.  My hubby (who is not a teacher), asked me what was weighing on me so heavily.  How could I articulate that it was nothing earth shattering that left me driving for a weekend getaway in tears after school on Friday? He'd think I was crazy if I told him that a quick trip to the book fair added a layer of stress to the week.  Or that a broken duck decoration caused me to have to head into the hallway to take ten deep breaths.  Or that a look from a coworker made me feel insecure and slightly angry.  None of those things in and of themselves have the power to ruin a day, much less a week, for me on usual terms. Couple them with a new student, an established student who is feeling jealous of the new student, and getting this message dozens of times while working on report cards:

and I felt defeated.  And tired.  And frustrated.  I kid you not, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I hit "save" on my report cards, this message popped up and I lost the latest text I had typed in.  Our report cards are narratives, so this created a huge issue!  I was running out of time to get report cards done and I'm pretty sure ISC was screening my calls and avoiding my stressed self.  After painstakingly getting the report cards finished, they wouldn't print!!  Sigh!  Sob, really!  I finally got the printing issue resolved- at 2:40 pm.  They needed to be in backpacks and ready to go home with kids by 3:00. Phew!  My heart is racing just typing about it.

So- fast forward to 4:30 on Friday.  I was getting in the car by myself to head out of town for a weekend away with girlfriends.  I started to drive.  The tears started.  I didn't want to go away with friends.  I didn't want to do any adulting of any kind.  Yet I kept driving.  As I did, I ran through all of my strategies for destressing.  I relaxed my right shoulder, then my left.  I remembered a yoga instructor once telling us to make sure our tongues were not pushing against the roofs of our mouths, so I paid attention to my tongue.  Really, I just said that!  I relaxed my tongue!  Lol!  I breathed in clear air and pushed out tense air.  And I still didn't want to do any adulting.  I kept thinking about the week.  About the kiddo who hit me with no regard and answered "no" to everything I said ALL. WEEK. LONG.  I questioned my classroom management and my effectiveness.  And then I cried again.  The last thing I wanted to be thinking about was school!  I wanted just one weekend off!  

I drove around a bend in the road I was traveling on and was greeted by this amazing sunset.  The pictures don't even begin to do it justice.  They are not really worthy of posting, yet, pulling over to take the pictures helped transition me from stress to gratitude.

Adele was soulfully singing on the radio as I started off again to my destination.  The lyrics "It was just like a movie.  It was just like a song..." made me smile.  Isn't teaching so much like a movie and a song?  The rhythms of the classroom are magical, moving, and song-like.  The conversations, enthusiasm, and growth are movie worthy.  And sometimes songs are sad.  Sometimes movies are tense.  What I needed was not to block school from my thoughts for the weekend.  What I needed was to embrace the song and the movie of Kindergarten, and of my week.

I finished the drive, met up with my friends at a beautiful hotel, and hit the hay early.  Just what I needed.  And then this morning I woke up, walked to a great shop in the quaint town we are staying in and shopped.  And what did I buy?  Well, things for my classroom of course!!

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